Once upon a time it was an artist who was contacted by someone who I can call “The bear” (And because I can’t reveal his identity due bussiness reasons). “The bear”, with his hairy, spoogy hands lend few dollars saying in a sweet but creepy voice “This is an advance of what I want, because I do this just for test you, my artist. You should draw my character pristine, with excelent skills”. The hairy monster mistook PayPal accounts, and thrown the money without doing any negociation (Oh! the first worse mistake done by customers! No, No!!) but our brave artist solved it without problems. “Phew! That was close” Our hero said. Two sketches were done with pristine, excelent skills, as the monster said to our brave artist. When ”The bear” appeared suddenly drooling over our hero’s head (Oh, a surprise e-mail!), the boy yelled but a hairy, spoogy hand coveved his mouth. “Where’s my sketch?!” said the monster. Our artsy boy show the two sketches to him. “The Bear” looked them and with a unsatisfied groan, protested “My belly is more big and rounded, full of hair and spooge, also my beard is less spoogier, I want it more spoogier!” With a frightened voice, our artist said “But, noble sir. You didn’t indicate me what do you want for your commission. I can’t do just sketches without any reason. That’s not my bussiness style…” “SILENCE, NON-HAIRY, NON-SPOOGY MORTAL!” Roared the monster to our hero’s face, covering his head with hideous, disgusting ooze. That ooze smelled like rotten cum. The monster did the second mistake of the bussiness “Don’t request untill you have a clear idea of what do you want”.
Oh, how miserable, poor was that artist life. The guy drop the sketches to the garbage and started again. Each time the monster shown for proccess of sketches of his own character, sketches were rejected because minimal details of less importance. Over and over “The Bear” repeated his karma: “No, my head is so squeezed, more ooze! That bulge is not delightfull, more ooze!” Over and over and over…
Our artist realized this monster was just testing him for do his hideous character as the monster’s partners: Zombie bull, Gore Bear and Vulgar Wolf (Names changed in pro of protect innocent people) and others. Our hero, then decided to drop the bussiness with the evil hairy, spoogy ineeded monster and move on to another state.
Our artist boy started new commissions on the new town. People there known the best in requesting commissions and the stress lowered to peace level…One night, a stormy one. Our boy was working in one of his commissions when suddenly the beast appeared in front of his screen (another e-mail, how classy!). “YOU’RE A FOOL, MY SON! YOUR INCAPABILITY OF DRAW MY CHARACTER PROPERLY MADE YOUR SOUL CURSED! I WANT MY REFUND!” Yelled “The bear” with the most “spoogy” voice ever in the horror stories history. The evil creature was about of eat our hero’s pursue when the boy shown his commissions list. “Look, hideous monster! I did this amount of sketches, multiply the sketch commission price with the sketches quantity I did to you!” In an exclamation, our brave voiced the final word stab “…actually, you’re in debt with me in money!”.
Then, the monster yelled and started to inflate his body. His body was inflating, more and more. Our hero covered under the desk. “The bear” exploded, dissapearing in the act. Letting all the room covered in spoog and hair.
“Oh, crap! I cleaned the entire room this morning!”
With this I give a final point of my commission horror story, children. Remember to give a clear idea of what do you want to your commission artist. Don’t lend money without doing a negociation first and the most important thing, my children: Avoid those customers who want to test you.
See you next time…MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! *Cough*
- by Gugoch